LOUD or just corny?
Mr. Tidbit hadn’t visited the Pringles end of the potato chip aisle in quite a long time, as all that seemed to be happening among those potato crisps was the occasional new flavor (there are now 16).
Thus he hadn’t noticed Pringles Baked Stix, whenever they first appeared. (They are wheat-based and include, among the five flavors, two sweet ones: honey butter and sugar cookie.) Had he noticed them, though, between the “Stix” in the name and the drawing on the package, he would have known they weren’t just more flavors of the regular Pringles potato crisp.
That’s not the case with new Pringles LOUD. All five kinds have flavor names suggesting either spiciness or intensity, so Mr. Tidbit assumed that’s what made them a separate line from regular Pringles. Not so. Rather than the dried potatoes that are the main ingredient in regular Pringles, the first ingredient in all five LOUD versions is degerminated yellow corn flour. So they’re Corn Crisps. And two of them (Super Cheesy Italian and Mighty Margherita Pizza) also contain a “grain and vegetable blend” consisting of dried carrots, modified rice starch, malted barley flour, oat flour, dried spinach, dried peas and wheat starch. If you read down far enough, there’s even a soupcon of dried potatoes.
Oh, do you know the cupcake man?
Mr. Tidbit would like to be remembered for two observations. The first, with which he described the unpleasant offspring of an equally unpleasant parent: “The apple doesn’t fall far from the horse.” The second, the one of interest here (but he likes the first one a lot), was in answer to a friend’s definitional question: “The difference between a muffin and a cupcake is intent.”
Hershey’s Gourmet Filled Muffins, a four-pack of chocolate cakes he encountered recently in a supermarket prepackaged-bakery section, has caused him not to rethink his muffin/cupcake remark but to aver that the item in question was misnamed. Here’s the descriptive passage on the label: “Hershey’s chocolate muffins filled with decadent Hershey’s fudge filling, topped with chocolate icing and decorated with Hershey’s chips.”
Not a word about nutrition or whole grains, no cranberries but use of the word “decadent.” Clearly that’s dessert, not the kind of abstemious comestible we call a muffin. Confirmation appears in the nutrition label: One of these objects weighs four ounces and contains 450 calories and 24 grams of fat.