P.B. Richies, foreground, followed by nicely filled Little Debbie Cloud Cakes and (merely for best color contrast) Chocolate Crème Twinkies
Filled with regret
Mr. Tidbit’s regular readers (Mr. Tidbit will spare you his “irregular readers / Metamucil” joke, as he used it barely six weeks ago). . . . Those folks, anyway, know how very fond he is of Little Debbie Nutty Bars, the snack cake he has described as “Nature’s second-most-perfect food.” (Nature’s most-perfect food is the cheeseburger.)
Thus, it is with what Lyndon Johnson would have called “a heavy heart” that Mr. Tidbit reports that his reaction to Little Debbie’s latest offering, P.B. Richies, is disappointment. He would describe P.B. Richies as Twinkie-like but slightly smaller frosted chocolate cakes, with a peanut-butter filling. That certainly sounds promising, and Mr. Tidbit found his anticipation stoked by the photo on the box.
Had he not seen that photo, Mr. Tidbit still would not have been wildly enthusiastic about P.B. Richies, but the depiction of a solid core of peanut butter filling really set him up. He was even ready to find (and possibly would even have been pleased if he found) that the core of peanut-butter filling was lightened with something like the creamy stuff found in Twinkies (whatever that is).
What he was not ready to find was a diffuse deposit of filling, which when eaten added a peanut butter flavor to the chocolate cake but was not detectable in the mouth as a separate entity. Not bad, not a terrible outcome, but one not suggested by the photo on the box.
To those who would say, “Oh, come on! The box photo is always an exaggeration; it’s probably very difficult to sqwootch filling so that it makes a nice separate pocket.” Mr. Tidbit would reply “Oh, come on yourself, Those! Look at the Little Debbie Cloud Cakes and the Chocolate Crème Twinkies (Twinkies pictured merely for clearest contrast, in case it’s hard to see the Cloud Cake filling; there aren’t any chocolate-filled Cloud Cakes). Both cakes’ filling has been perfectly sqwootched, just as the photos on the boxes suggest.”
In any case, Mr. Tidbit rushes to assure both his readers and the folks at McKee Foods that his admiration for the Little Debbie Nutty Bar and many other fine Little Debbie products is undiminished. In fact, he lives in the sure and certain hope that Little Debbie experts will soon find the solution to the sqwootchability issue, and that P.B. Richies will then ascend to their rightful place in the Little Debbie pantheon.
He can hardly wait.